THE LAWYER'S WEEK FROM HELL:
All lawyers have the week from hell. You know the cliche "when it rains it pours" well as attorneys we know what it feels like to get drenched from torrential downpour. A good many of us have survived quite a few rain storms and then there are the days when it seems nothing can go right. Oh, sure you know the day; you forget to watch the news or the weather report, thus are completely unprepared for the rainy day ahead. Of course, you also forget to wear your slicker or rain coat; you leave your rain-boots and your umbrella at home as you head to your law office.
This is not just any ordinary day of rain, the rain appears to blow horizontally, it refuses to let up, it is one of those rain storms that combined with the blowing of the wind at speeds just below what is necessary for the national weather service to issue a tornado watch, warning, a low category hurricane quickly gaining speed and power certain to reach a cat 5 before your day of legal services comes to an end. The golf ball, no make that baseball sized hail pounding down onto the roof of your new BMW, destroying the rooftop of your law firm, an all and out blizzard.
It is just one of those days you wish you would have stayed home. No, but not you, the dedicated lawyer, defender of the underdog, champion of the little guy who is being sued by a major cooperation, litigant for the small child struck by a drunk driver , who just happened to be driving a major corporation 18 wheeler, you know the likes of Pepsi or Coca Cola. You would never let a little or big in this case rain storm keep you from your duties as a lawyer. This is what you worked your entire life for, why you spent three grueling years in law school just to graduate and begin the daunting task of mastering every single area of law including those you have no interest in and are certain you will never practice. You spent countless months, days and hours, seemingly without a social life, ignoring your family and friends, neglecting all other responsibilities in your life so you could finally sit for the much anticipated and even dreaded two or five day bar exam (depending on whether you take the Louisiana bar or the Bar exam given to the rest of the United States).
When you received your passing score in the mail and you cautiously celebrated, knowing you still had to secure a decent paying job so you could begin the life long task of paying back your law school student loans, thinking to yourself, "if I work every day until I am eighty-eight and never think of retiring I may still never be able to completely pay off these loans. It was all worth it though, wasn't it? You know it was the day you were sworn in and stood before the highest court of your state. Your family beaming with pride as you shook the hand of the Chief Justice and received your certificate with bold letters announcing to the world that you John Q. Lawyer are hereby recognized as a practicing attorney in the state of (your choice) signed by the members of the current Supreme court.
As you hold your certificate that distinguishes you from the 40 -60% of the other law school grads who also took the exam, but were not as fortunate as you, who will have to begin the process all over again in just a few months in hopes of passing on their second attempt, your only thought now is how large you will frame this impressive document and exactly where you will hang it in your new office.
You are ready to take on the world. You will be an upstanding lawyer, refusing to turn away any case, refusing to lend your name to the horrific lawyer jokes told in between the used car sales men jokes and telemarketer jokes.
Having said that: We have all had a bad day. All lawyers have had a bad week, the kind where our overpaid secretary inconveniently overbooked us to the point of needing to be a magician to make it to every scheduled court appearance, deposition, house closing, pre trial conference not to mention meet with the 99 clients she scheduled for us to meet with during our free time, our lunch break, before and after our office operating hours. We are dedicated though and we will get it all done and not miss a single deadline or prescription date (statute of limitations) on a brief or writ that is due with an appellate court or worse the Supreme Court. We have such high hopes and good intentions.....
THAT IS UNTIL WE WALK IN OUR OFFICE TO SEE THE 25 UNSCHEDULED CLIENTS WAITING IMPATIENTLY TO SEE US, TO DEMAND THAT WE TAKE ON THEIR MOST UNREASONABLE CASE;
Borrowed from renowned Attorney "ADRIAN M. BARON
I returned to the office exhausted only to find a gaggle of
unscheduled appointments waiting for me. Imagine a group of
insane asylum inmates hijacking a bus after drinking a
cocktail of espresso, Red Bull, and crack. Now imagine that
group taking the bus to your office.
Please read on for more true to life WEEK FROM HELL Lawyers expeience, in this informative yet humorous article written by Adrian Baron, a partner in the New Brittain Office of Podorowsky, Thompson & Baron. After reading this article, if you see where the author is coming from , Bonus pointd for you. I am certain you will want to know more about this comical author who is truly an excellent authorative on many legal issues,
The author of this article has been noted in this post. With the permission of the techno lawyer blog I am re-printing potions of this "NOT TO BE MISSED READING"
SYNOPSIS
"I'm a lawyer, not a psychiatrist!" Have you ever wanted to
say this to one of your clients? Join lawyer and humorist
Adrian Baron on a trip down memory lane as he rediscovers
why practicing law is a worthwhile endeavor notwithstanding
the workload, stress, and occasional nut-job seeking
counsel. We recommend reading this TechnoFeature article
with a glass of champagne. This article contains 1,134
words.
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IS THOU TALKING TO ME?
On my office wall, I have a photo from the day I was sworn
in as an attorney. Standing in my new suit, I am beaming
with joy as I shake the hand of the Chief Justice. I have
this wide eyed look on my face as if I had just met Mickey
Mantle, Eddie Van Halen, and Santa Claus all at once.
I had made it through law school, passed the bar, and stood
poised to defend the Constitution. The knot of my tie is
askew as I had not yet mastered the technique that would
soon become my daily routine. I remember the pride in my
mother's face and wishing my late grandfather could have
been there to share the moment. I had worn his cuff links to
mark the occasion. For my father, if I couldn't play
centerfield for the Yankees, becoming an attorney was the
next best thing.
The Chief Justice was approaching his retirement and wanted
to impart some wisdom on this current crop of barristers. In
his closing remarks, he suggested we pop open a bottle of
champagne to mark our entrance into an exclusive and noble
profession. He warned that there would be days our newfound
responsibilities could wear us down.
"Save the cork from the bottle and take it out from time to
time to remember this day. It can help you through the
trying days."
At the time, I didn't pay much heed to his words. Trying
days? Are you kidding me? I just finished law school and
passed the grueling bar exam. When do I get my BMW?
THE PAPER CHASE TRULY BEGINS
In the end, I did follow the judge's suggestion. I saved the
cork from the champagne bottle and threw it in my office
desk amidst a clutter of paper clips, notepads and aspirin.
For the most part I forgot about the cork as it traveled
deeper into the uncharted recesses of my desk.
As time wore on, I thought less of my swearing in ceremony
and more about billable hours. There never seemed to be
enough hours in the day. As I worked on building my law
practice, I began missing the important things in life.
Birthdays, family outings and even my three year old nephew'
s first soccer game fell by the wayside. Who was playing
first base for the Yanks? What new movies were out? When did
my "weekend" clothes go out of style?
There were more than a few days where the stress of the job
wore me thin. Deadlines, court appearances, bills,
curmudgeonly clients ... it was enough to drive anyone
crazy.
As a new attorney, I made the mistake of taking every case
personally. If a client was facing jail time, I spent the
night worrying about how the client and his family would
handle incarceration. If I did an immigration case, I
worried that the slightest mistake could lead to a family
being deported and lives would be ruined. If I defended a
speeding ticket for a relative, I wondered how their
insurance rates would be affected. How could I attend family
outings if Uncle Frank's insurance rates went up? I was
always exhausted after work, especially on days with court
appearances.
THE WEEK FROM HELL
As many attorneys can attest, sometimes you just have a week
from hell. I remember one particular week that was crammed
with motion deadlines, depositions, hearings, and client
appointments. One rain soaked Monday had me at an early
morning immigration hearing, followed by two criminal
pretrials, an afternoon divorce status conference and a late
residential closing.
I returned to the office exhausted only to find a gaggle of
unscheduled appointments waiting for me. Imagine a group of
insane asylum inmates hijacking a bus after drinking a
cocktail of espresso, Red Bull, and crack. Now imagine that
group taking the bus to your office.
The first up to bat was an irate man (let's call him Moe)
who demanded my firm take his case or else he would have no
choice but to report us to the local newspaper. Moe wanted
to sue his boss for slander. Apparently pimple faced "Corey"
the night manager called him a "slacker" in front of "Corey"
the fry cook.
The second visitor (let's call him Larry) wanted to legally
change his last name to "Budweiser" to sue the beer behemoth
for millions of dollars for name infringement.
The third guy (let's call him Curly) dragged his elderly
mother into the office with him. He convinced the poor woman
that she should sue his father for child support. Mind you
Curly was 48 and still lived in his mother's basement. His
parents divorced during the Reagan years.
Wonderful. The bases were loaded. Batting cleanup ... my
beloved family.
Cousin "Shemp" felt that our bloodlines entitled him to
endless accommodation work. He was uncle "Curly Joe's" kid
and often felt that the world was conspiring to get him. The
kind of guy that would make sure their were actually two
scoops of raisins in his box of Raisin Bran. Shemp had
resolved to sue his neighbor because of the perceived
lopsided way the poor man mowed his lawn. Surely this was
the cause of the decreased value of Shemp's property and not
the rusty Lincoln Continental on cinder blocks in his
driveway.
UNCORKING THOSE WORDS OF WISDOM
What happened to defending the constitution? When did my
life become an endless Saturday Night Live skit?" Why had
the stars aligned against me? My eye started to twitch. I
politely excused myself, mumbled something about Dick
Cheney, and began searching for the civil war musket we had
as evidence from one of our uncivil litigation matters.
As I ransacked my desk looking for something to load the
musket with, I stumbled across the champagne cork from my
swearing in ceremony. The faint smell of the cork
immediately brought me back to that happy day. I realized
that I was lucky to be in a position to help these people,
no matter how nutty they were.
For every nightmare client, I had twenty appreciative ones.
People who turned to me for help and were grateful for doing
so. I regained a little of that magic from my first day as a
lawyer. That wonderful anxiety of what it would be like to
practice law. I put down the musket and pulled out a legal
pad. "OK, who's next?"
(Obviously, I would never shoot a client with a musket. As
an attorney, I consider myself a civilized member of
society. The proper method would be to challenge the client
to a duel after a spot of tea. More socially conscious
lawyers might also consider pushing the client into the
shark tank of your favorite local aquarium).
Respond to this TechnoFeature:
mailto:[email protected]
ABOUT ADRIAN M. BARON
Attorney Adrian Mark Baron is a partner in the New Britain
officeof Podorowsky Thompson & Baron
<http://www.ptblegal.com> where he practices in a variety of
legal areas including criminal defense, civil litigation,
commercial and residential real estate transactions, family
law, and immigration. Attorney Baron received his Juris
Doctorate from the Pace University School of Law (2004)
where he served on the Honor Board and as a founding
president of the Barrister's Guild.
Contact Adrian:
E: mailto:[email protected]
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Please vist Adrian M. Baron at his law Firm's web-site
Many thanks to Adrian Baron for bringing the week from hell into proper prospective for the rest of us drowned rat lawyers coming in out of the rain ready to shoot our clients
