FRIENDSHIP VS EMOTIONAL AFFAIR
When does an innocent friendship with a member of the opposite sex cross the line?
Do you know someone who is having an Emotional Affair?
Could you be having an Emotional Affair?
Here are some guidelines to determine if you or your spouse is involved in an inappropriate relationship:
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It's Friday night. Are you home with your spouse or dining with your significant other; or are you working late again? Perhaps brainstorming over cocktails with the hottie from human resources? You're not doing anything wrong. Right? I mean you are flirting just a little bit, but hey you are human and if this was wrong you certainly would not be flaunting it out in the open at one of the trendiest nightspots in town; hell half the people in the place know both you and your spouse.
That is the biggest bailout for emotional infidelity. We are not having sex so there is nothing wrong with what I am doing. Wrong! An emotional affair that never leads to physical intimacy is just as damaging to a marriage as sleeping with your wife's best friend. Sometimes an emotional affair can actually cause more damage to a marriage. The victims of emotional infidelity agree with victims of a physical affair in one aspect. It is not so much the actual cheating that kills the relationship as it is the betrayal, the lies, secrets, loss of trust.
Divorce is on the rise, but now there is a new {perhaps not so new, but much more openly discussed} Demon that is tearing couples apart. No, it is not the ole cheating son of a bitch, or the drunken wife beater or even the sorry ass gambler who loses his families life savings at the casino; it is a friend.
Or is it a friend?
When does friendship cross the line?
FRIENDSHIP VERSUS EMOTIONAL AFFAIR
Friendships = necessary Emotional Affairs = nuclear, toxic
GUIDELINES:
- Feelings of attraction...feelings for your friend are strictly platonic; imagining what it would feel like to kiss your friend is toxic
- Sharing details of your marriage...Friends are supportive, but are careful not to violate the confidences of a marriage...friendship is turning toxic and leading towards an emotional affair when the spouse confides private intimate matters with the friend this is a betrayal of the spouses trust
- Secrets...Friends do not have intimate secrets with members of the opposite sex that they cannot share with their spouse. A friendship is turning toxic when you begin to lie to your spouse about the amount of time you spend with your friend
Here are some warning signs that should alert you that your significant other is having an inappropriate relationship, an emotional affair, which may or may not eventually lead to a physical affair.
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He does not share
his emotions with you anymore - He spends less time at home and more time with a co-worker or a friend from the gym or the library, etc
- His eyes light up around this friend, or his voice changes when he is in her presence
- He picks fights with you and uses the argument as an excuse to leave the house @ night
- abnormal or unusual text messaging
- Deleting his incoming and outgoing text messages, hiding or locking his cell phone
- Becomes particular about his "privacy" as it relates to his e-mail, he may even change his e-mail password or open a new secret e-mail account. Most people involved in emotional affairs have their most intimate moments while talking on a cell phone or via text messages or e-mail
In todays world of advanced technology emotional affairs have more than tripled. Most people who are having an emotional affair are aware that their action is wrong but they justify it by convincing themselves and others that the behavior is not inappropriate because they are not having sex.
A person is having an emotional affair if they have to ask them- self " is this cheating?" or "would I be pissed off if my husband was doing this?"
Stay tuned for part two: Top ten ways to avoid an emotional affair & I will report real comments from 6 men who had emotional affairs and six women who admitted the same. I will also post the reaction that spouses and significant others had when they learned of the emotional infidelity...... Stop back by tomorrow for the mind blowing conclusion to this controversial relationship issue of the tech-no-years
