SAY
JUST
Just say No! We have all heard it right? No means No! You’ve heard that one? Useful sayings we have all heard and undoubtedly said. So you are scratching your head and wondering how this applies to lawyering. Before you turn the page and decide now is the perfect time to start using those sayings, hear me out.
With more and more downsizing in large law firms and the increasing number of solos by choice of lawyers, it may seem that the number of choice clients is on the rapid decline. We have all felt the sting of today’s economy. I recently read an article, which prompted this article; it addressed the top occupations to be in during this topsy turvy recession
At first glance, I have to say I was surprised to see lawyers listed. Yes, right alongside ‘health care professionals’, ‘career counselors’ (whatever they are) and internet media. I admit I am unaccustomed to this good press. I admit I am used to seeing and reading about lawyers side by side with Used car salesmen, Those check cashing places that charge people like 20% of their entire check for the pleasure of cashing it-albeit they do not verify the funds; so I have been told.
The more I thought about it; the more reasonable it became. I mean just because the economy has gone to hell doesn’t mean that criminals have stopped breaking the law and committing crimes. Let me rephrase that please. I mean just because the economy is bad doesn’t mean that the police have stopped wrongfully arresting innocent people for the crimes that are still being committed. People have not stopped having car and motorcycle accidents. People still slip and fall during this economy, heck probably more often. Divorce is clearly on the rise.
Now the 64,000 dollar question is: Will these people pay top dollar for the good lawyers like you and me. Everyone is watching their dollar closely, whether that dollar was earned or stolen. So it is all the more important to be the best at what you do. Do not make promises that you cannot keep; do not promise your client the world before you even look at the facts of the case. Your working reputation will earn you word of mouth referrals from happy and satisfied clients. It is always better to get a client who was referred by a former client that a nut case who threw a knife into the telephone book and hit you with a bull’s eye. Come to think of it, people who like you would never refer some nut job to you.
The problem begins to creep up on us flying solo when halfway through the month you are having an unusual quiet day at the office. At first you think OMG noon
“Sally, can you get me a list of the new client appointments for the rest of the week? I think I will get a jump start on their intake, you know while I am having this unusual but welcomed down time?”
“Um, Sally, did you not hear me?” looking down, she keeps tap tap tapping on her keyboard, secretly hoping you will just go away while at the very same time secretly hoping that she gets her paycheck this week, probably haven already given up on the visions of $$$$ in her Christmas stocking . Snap out of she finally tells herself, it is only July things will surely pick up by bonus, I mean Christmas time. We always go through spurts, why should this be any different?
TEMPTATION AND FRUSTRATION competing with fear of the unknown take over and the next thing you know we find ourselves sitting across the conference table from creepy crawly client who gives us the heebie jeebies. For those of you who do not think you know what I mean by the heebie jeebies, well yes you do. You will recognize it next time, I promise you and then you will have a floodgate of memories of past scary, scummy sketchy, clients. You know it when you are talking to a client and you just have the strangest overwhelming outburst. You holler to the receptionist as she goes to close your door
“No, um Tiffany, that is not necessary. Please just leave the door open.” Puzzled of course, because all Tiff can think of is how many times you have reminded her to always but always close the door after escorting a prospective new client into your office. Then you know it, or when you feel the hairs on the arm stand up at attention or the prickly feeling of something crawling down your back, oh you know it. The time when you told the young ladies they could leave at 5:30 you would be fine. You only had one appointment left for the day; a nice gentleman was coming in to talk to you about a dispute with his neighbor. It should be relatively simple; you can handle it on your own. Oh yes, you know it when he arrives in his dirty overalls, carrying a sack that you learn contains the neighbors dog’s feces. He wants it examined. He is certain they dog ate his parakeet. Then he starts talking about the giant government conspiracy against him and the UFO’s that are brainwashing his dog. The heebie jeebies, that is what that feeling is, we all have had an experience with a client who gives us the heebie jeebies.
Temptation and Frustration and fear of the unknown and now we are sitting across from the master of Heebi and Jeebie and yet we are somehow signing on the dotted line of a retainer agreement.
Repeat after me. Just say No. and No means No,
You can and should pass on some clients. The ones you should pass on and don’t are the one that will end up costing you more that you collect from them. They suck up all of your productive time that you could be spending on your good, easy going appreciative clients who pay their bill on time and actually trust you to do your job and take your advice.. The just suck the life out of you. And after you have done far more than you were paid to do, they will not be happy and you will be spending more time writing letters trying to appease them to no avail. Then after they fire you and demand their money back you will spend even more time having to answer a frivolous bar complaint.
So make it a rule. Just say no to the clients that will end up causing you to live off BC powder for the headache followed my Tums and Rolaids for the indigestion form ingesting too much aspirin.
Here is my list of the TEN MOST NOT WANTED (Clients)
10. Clients who make legal fees and cost a major issue. It should come as no surprise to you when this client haggles over every single cost. He wants to do the start now pay later plan. He will talk a big game about money; will tell you how much he gives his employees as a bonus. Talk is cheap and so is he. If he is already trying to negotiate the fee down; this is just the beginning of many headaches and months of no payment from this cost avoiding client. Best case scenario, you refund his money and learn a lesson. Worst case scenario you have to sue him for payment (never a good idea) & count on spending money to travel to your state’s bar associations’ disciplinary committee to give your deposition and other cost involved defending against his frivolous complaint.
9. Clients with an issue that is beyond your area of expertise: Now is not the time to learn a new area of law. If you are a family law attorney and a client wants to retain you for a big tax law case. Resist the temptation to be drawn in by the $$$$$. You are just asking for a malpractice suit.
8. Lawyer Shopping Clients: So you and half the lawyers in town offer a free initial consult. Nip this consult in the bud when it becomes apparent that this lawyer has already interviewed 9 lawyers, crosses your name off the list while comparing you to the nine before you while looking at the list of 13 more after you. Now this is not a golden rule, there are always exceptions. When I first opened my private solo practice, I had a lawyer shopper come in. I was determined to land her. Imagine if you can this scenario/ One of the main reasons I went into practice for myself was to have more time for my kids, I even had a huge playroom in my law office for my kids after school and for the children of clients to use while we met. On this particular day my kids did not have school and had been at my office all day. This was a 5:00 PM client consult and my kids made about 20 guest appearances in my office. They came in unannounced; the staff could not control them. They were bored tired and hungry. They popped in to kiss me, hug me, tell me a joke, play peek a boo with the potential new client, kick me, tell me they loved me, hated me, wanted to go home. I handled it the best I could, but I never screamed at my kids. When the interview ended I just assumed “another one bites the dust…and another one gone…Imagine my surprise Monday morning when she was back with checkbook in hand to retain me (and this was a big fee) I asked her what prompted her to select me over all the others she interviewed. She was retaining someone to represent her son a juvenile charged as an adult with a very serious offense. She said it was my commitment to my family. I had tears in my eyes. Remember this is the exception, you can sell yourself to the client ;lawyer shopper, she will eventually chose someone to be her lawyer, but how often can you give away hours of your time for free to not be the one selected?
7. The Ping Pong Lawyer Client this is the client who has already fired one or more previous attorneys on this very case. A red flag should immediately go up. Normally this indicates a client who is not easy to please and will never be satisfied. You will find yourself spending hours of unnecessary time talking on the phone, meeting with this client as they continuously drop in without a scheduled appointment. They are what we call “hand holders” they need their hand held through every step. If they have a court date two months out (just a status conference) they will stop by the Friday before the Monday that you begin a first degree murder trial. They will demand that you stop meeting with the witness for Monday’s trial. Their case will always be more important than any other you have. If you dismiss them, they take it personal. They will threaten to fire you and when they do fire you, even though you have used up the entire retainer fee and then some they will demand all of their money back or threaten to report you to the bar. They will report you to the bar, but only after you have literally worked your ass off trying to please them. Save yourself the trouble. First contact the previous attorneys and learn the real story. Again this is the rule and there are exceptions. I have cases I have taken when a client has fired a lawyer. There are certain lawyers in my area that have a reputation for taking money and doing little. If it is one of these very few attorneys I will consider it, but never if they have lodged a bar complaint (learned my lesson the hard way here. A 4 time convicted felon retained me, he was in jail and the judge refused to set a bond. It was a drug case. I saw the money and saw what appeared to be easy; he had a right to bail didn’t he? My warning sign should have gone off when I asked him who represented him on the manslaughter case he was acquitted of and he named the name of a very reputable and awesome attorney. When he said the name I did not mention to him that it was my husband, not yet. I asked him why he did not retain him again and he bad mouthed him. I later learned that was not the only acquittal my husband obtained, he obtained 4. The judge hated him as did the DA. We had a bail hearing and despite the prosecutor introducing no evidence, the judge still denied bail. Client filed a bar complaint. During the investigation of said complaint, I took a writ and won and he was released. I had to continue working for him. Bar complaint unfounded. It was my first and I worried myself to death. The hours I spent preparing and answering etc. were unavoidable. He even lied about the amount of money he paid me. Luckily we had very good records and deposit slips. Another reason to document everything.
6. Client with unrealistic expectations you know this client, this is the greatest lawsuit of all times. This should make millions and they are doing you a huge favor letting you in on it. They want to sue the city, state, county, Parish, school Board, Mayor, Governor, they have researched verdicts in California and New York and think their case is really worth 35 mil. Run do not walk, but run to the nearest exit of the airplane. Wait this is your office. Walk very fast to the exit door and politely open it for them and wish them well. Cover your ass and immediately send a letter of non engagement. Do not let this client think for even a day that you are their attorney, You will be pulling your hair out.
5. A favor for a friend or a friend of a friend or even worse, family or friend of family. When you get your law license amazingly you will have so many more friends than you ever remember having. It reminds me of when my husband and I move to a place on the beach in Florida right after we graduated law school. We lived in Florida for five years, eventually buying a home on the water. Man did we have a lot of friends come visit. Come to think of it, not one of them came to visit us in Michigan while we were in law school in the blizzards and 30 below ice storms. When you do a favor for a friend or family and you end up doing it for a fraction of your fee or pro bono, you open yourself up to a client who will call you to explain every tiny detail, even if it is a simple lease. Since they did not pay you they often do not recognize when the relationship ends. I have one family member, god bless her sweet soul, and she has kids from hell. At any given day during the 20 years of my practice, I kid you not, no less than three of her either children, grandchildren, spouse of children spouse of grandchildren, best friend of same, boyfriend of, ex husband of, baby’s daddy and so are in jail at the same time, at least 3 usually 5 or more. So seriously we have the grandmother (young to be a grandmother and she usually stays out of jail to work her ass off, her fingers to the bone to pay bail every single weekend. My ex husband, current husband and I somehow are always representing her two children, her one grandchild, her daughter’s boyfriends, her daughter’s baby daddy, her grandson’s girlfriend, ex girlfriend, her son’s first wife, second wife, current girlfriend and ex girlfriend, sister of current girlfriend, This family members current boyfriend, ex husband and get this now we have the ex husband of this distant relative’s new girlfriend. I am not kidding. When one case ends they get arrested again and just tell the judge we represent them and because our name is already on so many cases, it just goes on the next. These clients we did pro bono work for now really own us. They know where we live, our home numbers, cell phones, they show up at our house at 630 am (when they know we will be home and we cannot hide) They say the stupidest things to Judges like” well so and so used to be the DA here and he will get us off so I don’t care what I am charged with, really makes it hard. Just don’t mix family and business if you can help it. Their case is always an emergency you get 25 calls an hour the 4th of July weekend, when you finally can’t take it anymore and use up a huge one and bite the bullet and call the Judge on his cell phone while he is with his family on this holiday to get a bond set, suddenly the phone calls stop, not even one thank you call. By now, you don’t care; the peace is a welcome relief.
4. The Angry Client-You can’t quite figure out who he is angry at, but who cares, it will be you soon enough. Words like conspiracy and government cover up should alert you. When he comes to the consult armed with a ton of paperwork, mostly letters he has written to complain about someone. He is a big letter writer. He writes the mayor, the governor, the president, the congressman, senators, FBI, DEA, and any other 3 letter organization you’ve never heard of. He feels that society and the justice system owe him something and eventually you will be on that list. The worst part he will begin to include you in his letter campaign, but up until now his 2000 letters per month have gone unanswered, but that one little letter to the bar must be answered, by yours truly. That is if you get off lucky and he does not go postal on you.
3. The client whose issue is always a life or death emergency. Beware you will be running around like a fire dog trying to put out fires, your own. You won’t have time for any other clients.
2. The client who knows more than you. This client would do it himself if not already so busy with his real important things to do. He will come armed with laminated maps, plats, volumes of law (mostly outdated) he has downloaded and printed from the internet. Beware of the client who offers to do “much of the leg work himself” to save some of the cost & worse yet the client who has a girlfriend or boyfriend who is in college taking a business law class. Client will inundate you with silly out there off the wall questions and suggestions. Stay away. & Always beware of the client says “I don’t care about the money; I am not in this for the money; it is the principle of the matter
1. The Heebie Jeebie Client - nuff said
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